So I dropped off my mom this morning. I don't know why I don't feel relieved since living her again made feel invaded and uncomfortable. We never get along with each other but she always gives me whatever I want even that comes with a lot of complaints. I bawled my eyes out for the entire ride home. I do miss her a lot and I wish I could say more nice things to her, hug her long enough so she wouldn't push me away to avoid the awkward goodbye that definitely would end up in tears. I wish I could be with her when she got sick because I cannot imagine how painful it was for her, since I saw the scar on the left side of her stomach. I shed a tear and quickly hid my face away. I never feel so alone atm, I don't even know what am I feeling. I love you mom! Even if I cannot express it I love you very much!