Recently I was put in a weird situation and I never expected myself to be this awkward. I like hanging out with this girl and genuinely want to see her regularly. It started to get weird when her long term boyfriend has had inappropriate actions towards me, and three of us noticed that. While I have been keeping it straight that I won't do any funny business with a such a fucking guy, she started to become more insecure and I can totally myself in the same situation 1 year ago. I feel so bad for her because she still loves this guy so much, but I don't have the heart to tell her the reality that she is with an asshole. I mean who would admit that they were in a committed relationship with a dickhead, well one sided commitment actually. It is sad that I could see the break up in the future when she either got so tired of his shit or he found another girl that would accept such a personality. I just wish that she has the strength to end it now because for many more years of misery can be avoided staying with such a bad person. But then again, would she take the leap of faith to walk out of a relationship that seems true since it was real once, but has no longer work when everything is constantly changing?

Another story of an older friend that I consider as my big sister. After all, we have the same story, well almost the same. I found out a year later after meeting her husband that they were in a 6 year relationship before getting married. My jaw dropped so hard hearing that because I literally saw no fucking love in his eyes and that I thought they were just two lonely souls that found each other and decided to get married 6 months later to put up with the pressure of being in their 30s and not married. They broke up for a little while and saw other people, but somehow he insisted on getting back together because she dated a better guy. Her eyes lid up telling how he couldn't find a better one to be his wife like she won some sort of competition. I felt like the idea of this is so romanized the fact that he went on to have a full fled relationship of another then went back to her. I mean he must have loved her so much that he wants her back right? Or maybe he is just a dipshit that realized he slipped a good one and conveniently knows that she'd be loyal to him, while he could be out and about eyeing the opposite sex. I could never get over this fact, been there done that and it was too hard to deal with. I thought I won something but in fact I had to deal with a fake and the girl I thought was the loser dodged a bullet, man good for her. Back to the story of my friend, after they got married, every problem that broke them is always there, on the surface and either has the balls to leave. And every single day, she is tired of his personality and complains. I adore her so much and have tolerated the urge to tell her she could meet a better if she is willing to lose who she thinks is the love of her life.

I see myself in both scenarios and I wish my friends would see better. Took years for me to realize this lesson myself and I didn't know why I always root for such a horrible person while still resenting and disgusting him. But who is ever clear and awake when they are still bombarded with love hormone. Maybe taking a leap of faith to see what's out there is so much better than staying in a relationship that leads no where.